(aw)full circ(us)le - 27/30
Saturday, May 8, 2010 at 12:46PM mami's constant reminders of how much better
i'd had it than she had took their toll on my sympathy
my grandfather's alcoholic abuse,
the still unhealed heartbreak my father wrought
became my burden, my yoke
as if i were somehow guilty and hadnt sufficiently made amends
rather than allow me to enjoy how good my life was
i was berated until the equation was balanced
seeds of despair implanted and watered incessantly
pain from the burns on her forearms seared numb the flesh of my heart
my pillow had finally dried after years of learning through them that love could lie
i was a jilted wife before i ever knew what it was to be a daughter
these tales could no longer bilk pity, all i could think of was sorrow
when she told me how much easier my life was
"did i ever tell you about how i found out i needed glasses?"
began a story that i had never heard
"i was 7 years old, my class went to the circus. i was so excited" said the child
from the projects, "but i couldnt see anything. i just sat there and cried" with a self- deprecating chuckle
with those words the adult that i am saw the child that she was and with tears in my eyes i finally wrapped my arms around her, closed my eyes and smiled
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