Choosing Wise Words Can Save Lives
Saturday, December 11, 2010 at 8:08AM Our words are the bricks to the building that we are
The path that we will travel is based on what we express
16 years ago my very masculine, lil thug Bronx street-baby cousin
introduced me to a friend of his with the preface,
“My boy is kinda feminine but he’s not gay...”
I already knew then who I was about to meet
The gay boy who was completely unprepared to face the world
Who hadn’t been told that it was just okay to be himself
Or worse, that it was NOT okay to be who he is
He was tall, dark and handsome
So young, soft, round and sweet 13
I was petite, 18 and a beauty queen,
It was j’adore at first site
We talked about life, fashion, hopes and dreams
He wanted to be a womenswear designer, drew sketches of lithe
tall figures draped in diaphanous fabrics, things that I would wear,
with braided maid marion tresses flowing down their backs
By the end of the night on the table was a near perfect sketch of me
I told him, "When you are 18, you are going to go
to the Fashion Institute of Technology
And I know this won’t be easy but you have to come out of that closet
You’re suffocating in there"
Before I left I had solemn words with my cousin, leader of their little gang
Busting heads, smoking trees, repping Bx thug life in Nyack : /
“You friend is gay. When he comes out of the closet I want you to love him
I want you to stand my him and protect him.”
And that’s exactly what he did
We made it safe for him to be himself
We changed the path and the life of one boy
and maybe countless others because of him
In high school I was one who, when people whispered about someone
would casually while chewing my food would say,
“Are you gay? People are talking about whether or not you are.
And if you are that’s totally ok,” with a warm smile
Shaking inside as I watched eyes get huge, confused,
then melt into understanding and finally pride
“Uh-huh! I am gay” the new babygay would anounce,
then we’d prance off to dance class
and dance the kind of dance you can only dance when
everybody’s free to feel good
I spent my teenage years protecting others from hatred,
doing theater work on stages in high schools, college campuses, halfway houses & prisons
with friends and allies from Hetrick-Martin, the Harvey Milk School and GMHC
At 16 I shook my fist and screamed “ACT UP! Fight AIDS”
And, “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it!”
I crafted squares to take to Washington to add to the quilt
And celebrated life with a Keith Haring S.T.A.R. on my back that said who I was
& a pink triangle on my chest with a mouth always ready to break walls
because thankfully I learned when I was very young that Silence=Death
That sweet little boy in Nyack crossed paths with this
When that boy was finally 18, I worked only a few blocks away from F.I.T.
And one day he knocked on my office door
He was living at the dorm only 2 blocks away
We joke that that’s when he became the Jack to my Karen
Within a few months he had returned what I had given him 10 fold
Because I invested a few hours in this gentle feminine little boy
Who had been institutionalized and betrayed by Catholic parents
who were ashamed of their first born
Who had been labeled insane by those who didnt allow him to admit
Or process the abuse that some claim made him “how he is”
He abused himself, hated himself, allowed others to harm him
And on more than one occasion, tried to bring all the pain to an end
But now he had been accepted, loved and there was a backbone installed
A sense of “pride”, we use that word so much “pride”
“A feeling of self-respect and personal worth”
What a gift to be able to give and to receive
Because who we, and others, will become is based on what we say
as much as what we do we need to choose wisely
With only a few words we can change lives
With only a few words we can save lives
In that confused child I found the most loyal, honest, unflinching love that I have ever known
(besides my grandmother’s & if i dont say that I could get in a lot of trouble)
He is the brother I never had and sometimes he’s the sister I never had!
He is my witness in life, my walking journal.
When the world feels desolate like there’s nothing but darkness
We know what hand to reach out for and know that it will be there
We feel safe in the knowledge that neither of us is ever alone
And as a person is there anything more valuable than that?
Victor & Roses
Friendship, Gay, Love, Words in Food for Thought
Reader Comments (5)
I love you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fantastic, bebe.
It reminds me of this Margaret Cho piece. Check it out at 5:35. Or just watch the whole thing because she's that fabulous. <3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQsHGJE592Y
You are simply amazing! That's what life is about!
Blossom, actually should nothing to do with the season. A lot of time in his life is confused, find a better reason to let himself not to want to some other people think unimportant matters.
We all like a clown, in our lifetime playing five balls, the five balls is work, health, family, friends, and spirit. Five balls with only one is rubber, fall can play up and that is work. The other four balls are use made of glass, the off, broken... xnaytm xnaytm - Mulberry UK Factory.
It's great to hear from you and see what you've been up to. In your blog I feel your enthusiasm for life. thank you